Tester's life

Yesterday, as part of a group set up by a friend on the IRC, I participated in a group file test.  The idea was to, using a combination of 3 files, achieve the best hypnosis anyone in the group had yet achieved. I agreed to participate, but not as a standard tester.  Instead, I wold attempt to resist the files effects (it was on my experiment list)

The File List:
Perfectly Suggestible
Blank
Fluttershy (genderbent, old version)

My agreement was that I would not use sectioning (as I did with Pinkie Pie).  This was my first listen to all three files, so I would not have been very useful regardless (no control data).

Perfectly Suggestible: This file is serious business.  I started out trying to block it my moving one leg constantly to block the trance, but even without trancing the later effects were very powerful.  Even the way they are stated is serious business... I'm glad I've put warning labels on this.  It sets up triggers with phrases that are common in other files, and has suggestion to use it more often until you have had sufficient success with the file of your choice.  I can't wait to use this file seriously later this week (I'm waiting until a few other experiments have been run first).

The Blank mind file is very similar, but uses slightly different language.  Instead of installing triggers, it attempts to remove distractions and fears.  I began to have real trouble blocking this file, changed to moving both legs (just bouncing them) and focusing HARD on IRC.  Even so, I had dizziness and some nasty mental effects; see below.

The third file, the Fluttershy file, had very little effect I'm proud to say.  I had some feeling of wings, which is entirely new, by my mind was in such turmoil from holding off the previous two files that there was little space left for further suggestion.

The effect of the first two files was to put me into a waking trance. I don't think any of the 'increased suggestibility' effects got through, but what did happen was a lowering of many of my natural barriers.  I had, and am having, a sort of identity crisis... My beliefs have shifted to an extreme relativism and I'm having trouble deciding who and what to be.  It is a bit disturbing, but I don't have anyone who knows enough Philosophy to talk to about it.  I wish I had some other way to explain, but the meaning of so many words are relative right now, so the standard helper would have to explain every word to me, one-by-one, and no one is interested in taking that much time.

... I think I understand Kernel Panic now...  I'm going to be more careful to avoid this in the future.